We all have different sexual appetites, so it’s hard to agree or disagree with such a sweeping statement. (OK, let’s show our hand straight away and say it would be much harder for us to agree with it. Read on and you’ll find out why.)
How many times is average?
According to a survey carried out by the Kinsey Institute, the average person aged between 18 and 29 has sex 112 times a year; that equates to just over twice a week. You don’t need to be a maths scholar to work out that’s unlikely to be very many times in a single night.¹ Of course, the number of times you do it is not necessarily the same thing as the number of times you’d like to do it.
Quality over quantity
According to a study of 500 women by fertility app Kindara, 60.8% of women desire sex 3-5 times a week. Again, that suggests many times in one night isn’t what they’re yearning for. For many men, and the majority of women, there seems to be a desire for quality over quantity.² You can have all kinds of fun trying to beat your personal best in the Sexual Olympics, if you’re up for it, but you probably wouldn’t want to make a habit of it – and neither would your partner.
But if your partner happens to be a sex addict that could be a different matter altogether. While these individuals are a minority, there’s a reasonable statistical chance you could be sharing your bed with one. And if you are, good luck, as coming four or five times in one night is definitely a physical possibility for someone in their sexual prime! ² ³ Doing it from dusk to dawn isn’t necessarily overdoing it, so long as both partners are having fun. But if a couple’s sexual appetites aren’t matched, then endless humping can be a chore that’s even less fun, and much more painful than doing the dishes for the less horny partner.¹
Use your tongue
For a sex life that’s as close as it can possibly be to how you want it, you need to use your tongue. Yes, talk as openly as you can with your partner and see if you can come to an agreement that works for both of you.¹ Sex therapist, Ian Kerner reckons most couples in a healthy, loving relationship should be having sex at least once a week. During the infatuation stage at the beginning of a relationship, couples often have sex every time they’re together but, as any married couple will tell you, the honeymoon period doesn’t last for ever.¹
Do a spot of DIY
The perfect number of times to do it in a night, a week or a month is a purely subjective matter. And, unless we’re talking masturbation, sex isn’t subjective as there’s always going to be someone else involved. So, maybe we should be talking masturbation? Taking matters into your hands could be the perfect way of balancing two incompatible sex drives, without ever having to meet in the middle.¹